Cheer Up Love, it may never happen!

I used to think that this was the most crass thing I had ever heard and it had been said to me over the years, usually as a passing comment with the aim of starting some form of engagement…

My usual response was to raise my eyebrows and walk on…

However when I reflect on this now I actually realise that it’s a very good piece of advice.

As a coach I often come across people struggling with stress and anxiety, so understanding the underlying causes are of great interest to me.

In it’s essence anxiety is caused by future projection, in other words we are projecting our thoughts into a non-existent future. A future that hasn’t happened as yet and a future over which we have no control because we are simply not there yet, not to be able to do anything about it…

So the idea that “it may never happen” does highlight the fact that when we have been in a state of anxiety about a possible outcome in the past, it actually never happened, never came to pass.

When you’re next anxious, check you thoughts, chances are, you are projecting yourself into the future, building a scenario in your mind, the more you allow your imagination to fuel the thoughts the larger and more anxiety promoting they become.

Stop and think… I’m anxious, so where are my thoughts?  What is the situation I’m worried about? Can I do anything about it now, in this moment?

If the answer is no then ask yourself what is the possible benefit of continuing to create possible future scenarios in your head that  have so little chance of becoming actual reality?

Anxiety, stress and overwhelm are linked to future projection so the more we can become aware of our thoughts and the more we can bring ourselves back to the present, the happier and more stress free we will be.