Can’t or Won’t?

Is it working for you? Are you waking up in the morning feeling alive and ready for the day? Excited about all the possibilities your life has to offer?

The thought that we can actually have the life we want, if we take the necessary steps to make it a reality is a challenging one. One interesting aspect to taking these steps is the premise of can’t or won’t. It opens up the notion of choice.

When we find ourselves saying that we can’t… Can’t change our job, can’t start our own business, can’t have a fulfilling relationship… Is it really can’t or won’t?

We often have lists of reasons why we can’t achieve the life we dream of. Let’s try something… Take a pen and paper and write one thing that you really want to do in your life, then underneath write a list of why you are unable to achieve this, whatever springs to mind. For example I can’t move to France  because of the children’s school. Then write another list with the same reasons replacing the word can’t with won’t. How does this feel?

The issue is not that you can’t move to France because of the children’s school, you could move to France, the children would adapt and they would learn a new language and culture, the fact is that you won’t move to France, it is a choice. The choices we make are often based on our values and learnt belief systems. Once we begin to unpick this element of choice and the reasons we are choosing not to do things, we begin to have a clearer idea of how we are orchestrating our lives.

Next time a thought of a life change comes into your mind and you immediately think I can’t, take a breath and ask is this I can’t or I won’t? And ask yourself why?

The idea that we make our own prisons all the while having the key to unlock the door, is a contentious one, however it needs to be explored if we want to move on and achieve our full potential.

I find the challenge of reaching my full potential very exciting and as a coach what could be better than helping other people achieve theirs?