You’ve made your bed, now you’re going to lie in it!

There I was on the platform patiently waiting for my train and generally staring into space as you do, when I overheard two women having a heated discussion and the phrase “Well, he’s made his bed, now he’s going to have to lie in it!” reverberated around the platform.

This got me thinking…

You’ve made your bed, now you have to lie in it?

Sounds a bit harsh doesn’t it? What does this phrase mean? How have we made our bed?

After some thought I came to the realisation that we all make our beds by the choices we make and the decisions that we have taken in our lives. Essentially the current situations that are presenting themselves in life are in part due to the very decisions and choices we have made over time, essentially we have a responsibly for how things are playing out. This is a fact that is very challenging for most people to accept, generally it’s so much easier to find someone or something else to blame…

Oooh it feels so good to find an outlet for the frustration we feel when we are confronted by a challenging situation, liberating ourselves with a truly satisfying out pouring, pointing the finger and side stepping any of the ultimate responsibility.

However this good feeling is temporary, why? Because it is founded on a misconception, the erroneous idea that every pickle we get into is always someone else’s fault.

Let’s think back, that awful traffic warden who gave me a parking fine, I was only a few minutes late, couldn’t they have unregistered the ticket? Honestly, people nowadays such job worths, why don’t they get a decent job and stop hassling hard working people…. And on and on and on…

Do we once stop to think, I parked there, I ran out of time, was this possibly my responsibility?

Are we quick to blame the boss or colleagues for challenging situations at work and not being at all prepared to look at how we maybe contributing to the problem?

What we need to understand is that there is a culture of blame in our society, where the most common reaction to finding ourselves in a situation we don’t like or find challenging, is to find a scapegoat.

If we truly want to take charge and become proactive in our lives, the very first step is to take personal responsibility for the positions and situations we find ourselves in and how we have contributed to these outcomes. It is vital to remember that we always have a choice, and this splits two ways…we can either accept a situation or choose to change it.

Complaining, moaning and apportioning blame is a waste of our precious energy, has us going round and round in circles and makes us powerless to change or improve anything.

Time for a rethink.

Next time you hear someone say ‘You’ve made your bed now you can lie in it” you may well understand it differently, see it as a call to action for the recipient of the comment, an opportunity to start taking responsibility for themselves, become proactive in their lives and generally charge, to step into the driving seat.

I promise you, once you start understanding how your actions and behaviour contribute to the outcomes in your life, it is the most beautifully empowering feeling, it is the opportunity to change your life for the better!